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Zingers

Great one liners & funny comments about our favorite item!

“Maybe they should have a toilet paper museum. Would you like that? So we can see all the toilet paper advancements down through the ages. Toilet paper in the Crusades: The development of the perforation. The first six-pack.”  – Jerry Seinfeld

“Like when I’m in the bathroom looking at my toilet paper, I’m like Wow! That’s toilet paper? I don’t know if we appreciate how much we have. I just want a few things I can treasure. So the things I do have, I’ll appreciate – like toilet paper. Just the other day, I said to Jennifer [Rubin], ‘Hey Jennifer, maybe we should stop using toilet paper’. We decided to thank the toilet paper instead, so that’s what I do when I leave the bathroom. Thank the toilet paper.” –  Alicia Silverstone

“When somebody follows you 20 blocks to the pharmacy, where they watch you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed.”  – Jennifer Aniston

Someone wrote a letter to the Sears Catalog Dept., saying “What is the price of your toilet tissue?” The reply to the question was – “Please refer to page 867 of our catalog.” The response to the reply was – “If I had 867 pages of your catalog, it would not have been necessary to write in the first place!” – Don Rhoades

“When I was in elementary school we signed each other’s yearbooks and I would often write: May your life be like a roll of toilet paper, long and useful.” – Jennifer Lutz

This is about the guy that went into the toilet booth in Grand Central Station, sat down and had a bowel movement before he realized that there was no toilet paper. Luckily someone entered the adjoining booth so he called over to him and asked if he had any toilet paper over there. The reply came back, “No, there was no toilet paper”. “Well, is there any newspaper over there?” “No, no newspaper over here”. “How about a paper bag?” “No, no paper bag.” Then after a few moments of silence – “Have you got two fives for a ten?” – Robert Lyons

“Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money.”  – Joey Bishop

“It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.”     – Rod Serling

“France is the only country where the money falls apart and you can’t tear the toilet paper.” – Billy Wilder

“It’s not hard to tell we was poor–when you saw the toilet paper dryin’ on the clothesline.” – George Lindsey

May your life be long and useful like a roll of toilet paper. – Anonymous-Turkish Proverb

“They didn’t even have toilet paper in the jungle!”- Spencer Pratt, on why he quit NBC’s “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!”

ToiletPaperWorld.com Local One Liners

“TPWorld.com is a winning site. It’s a Royal Flush!” – Kim

“TPWorld.com is a Great Place to Go!” – Kenn Fischburg, The King of Toilet Paper

“How’s business down there in ToiletPaperWorld?”

“The King of ToiletPaperWorld is in his office sitting on his throne!”

“Business at ToiletPaperWorld just keeps on rolling.”

“ToiletPaperWorld.Com: We’re on a roll!” – Carla

Toilet Paper Jokes & Cartoons

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